By Craig Funston
If this is early November, then we must be a few weeks into a brand-new NHL season. This is the third column I have written on hockey, and I also know there is another columnist who writes sports stuff, but, hey, I’m human, too, you know—and a Canadian human, to boot.
One of the iconic symbols of being a Canadian is his or her love for hockey, whatever form it takes. My form includes blathering about the game.
For the most part, things are falling into place, in terms of winning and losing, scoring and saving, and the usual death watch on which coach will lose his head, er, job first.
The one rare exception (at this point of writing) is the Edmonton Oilers: They’re winning and winning well. Good on them. I can’t bring myself to make a comment about the Canucks. They started so well and now they look like, well, the Canucks. Maybe Desjardin will be the first coach to be given his head on a platter..
As much as I like the Canucks, I am still a fan of the New York Islanders and Minnesota Wild. This is not to say that they will come out of the East and West, respectively, and battle for Lord Stanley’s Thing. I just happen to like both teams.
And then there’s the “exciting” news about the brand-new Las Vegas franchise. They will be needing a team name, logo, and colours. I feel it is my moral duty to help with the process, so I will help the powers-that-be with some suggestions—assuming they are reading this column.
For a name, it’s going to be hard to be original. What with dozens upon dozens of professional teams out there, there’s bound to be some duplication. However, I understand from my sources that they are working with something with the word “hawks” in it.
Let’s see: “Night Hawk,” “Desert Hawk,” even just “Hawk.” It can’t be Blackhawk (Chicago) and should not look like it’s named after anything to do with a so-called First Nation. They’re pretty touchy about teams with Indian names. So that rules out the Las Vegas “Tomahawks” I guess.
Either way, I can’t resist the quip “hawkey” club somewhere. (Yes, thank you: I thought that was quite witty, too.)
I’ll pass on the logo until I know that name. However, if those same powers-that-be are still with me, the hawk could have a hawkey stick (sorry) in its beak or claws, not unlike the San Jose Sharks shark having one in its mouth.
Now on to colours. Here is a list of what colours they can’t choose: red, blue, or black. With a palette of so many colours and so many shades within those colour schemes, I cannot believe how many teams have red, blue, or black (count them up yourself).
For that matter, here’s a trivia question: How many teams have some shade of yellow (the next most common colour) on their jerseys?
I humbly (okay, maybe I’m not all that humble) urge the Las Vegas team to develop a mix of burgundy and gold. Only Colorado has some burgundy and no team has gold, though there are degrees of yellow on some teams (and I believe “seven” is the answer to to the trivia question).
Burgundy is a distant cousin to red, but different enough to be distinctive. Most teams have an intriguing mix of two to three colours, plus the home white, so maybe a shade of brown could be a fit.
Or perhaps just green and white would satisfy me, green being the colour of money and “Lost Wages” (Los Vegas—get it, Maurice?) being the city that takes peoples’ (green) money all the time.
Oh, by the way, I did have another name for the team, but it doesn’t include the word “hawk.” It does conjure up the sense of strength, power, toughness, and machismo. You probably thought of it already, and I thank you:
The Las Vegas Craigs. C-r-a-i-g-s, as in the name of the writer of this column.
And the logo could be this really swell dud, er, dude, with a hockey stick cracked in two over his bald head., missing a few teeth, with a dishevelled look about him—kind of like me first thing in the morning.
Either way, the idea would be a crapshoot—but isn’t that was Las Vegas is all about?